Tunnel Rat - Chapter 171: This will hurt a lot!

Chapter 171: This will hurt a lot!

There were worse things than death, Milo thought to himself. He looked back fondly at the Snake when it had squeezed him to death or bitten his head off. Afterward, he took a break in the real world, got jobs done, woke up at his camp, and started plotting revenge.

Being the test subject for experimental medicine was less fun. Despite telling her he wasn’t worried about dying, Gendifur scoffed at the idea. “I don’t care if you’re a player, a lawyer, or a wizard and can laugh at death and walk out quickly; you don’t get to die on me. That would mean I let you die, a mockery of my healer’s oath. And it would be wasteful. I can heal more people by keeping you on the edge of death and draining blood out of you every hour.”

She said this as she smiled and jabbed him again with a needle. “Now eat that cheddar, drink your berry juice, and try to relax. Do you need a warm blanket? Yell for me if you need more cheese or think you’re dying. I need to give Bleusnout and Smiley another dose. They have responded well to the treatment and might even live until tomorrow.”

Leaving Milo to experience more of the joy of hypovolemic shock, she walked off to try and keep her three worst-off patients alive.

Justin’s wounds had been treated the same way as Larry’s. The big guard was sleeping soundly now. Larry had walked over to where Justin lay on a cot, patted his head, and then moved the cot close to Tallsqueak so he could sit next to both of them at once. Larry’s recovery had been nothing less than miraculous. Cheese and Fiendish Regeneration had overtaken the venom in his system, aided by his high resistance to poisons, toxins, and venom that his Fiendish Resistance granted him. “Larry thinks Tallsqueak needs more cookies. Auntie Irma gave Larry a whole bag. We can share.” Milo wasn’t hungry at first, but under his friend’s urging managed to eat a few cookies and drink more of his fruit juice. He was also rapidly recovering, but somehow Gendifur always knew when he could donate more blood and came for him like some smiling vampire. The consolation was he saw how many people she could cure with each jar of his Elixir enhanced blood. The infirmary was almost empty; only a half dozen of the worst patients were left, including Bleusnout, Smiley, and a badly injured Helen Brownfur.

This was the fourth time that Milo had donated blood. Gendifur checked him constantly after the first time and used a spell Milo had never heard of before to track how much blood flowed through him. “These have been passed down through our clan for ages. Mistress Milzners Very Excellent Rune of Diagnostics, Bejack’s Rune of Flowing Blood, Nessy’s Restoration, And, of course, CountEchse’s Ray of Fracture Finding. Not everything magic gets taught over in the Tower of Strife.”

She had also brought over two of her student healers to help her with some testing. Milo regretted being curious about his bone marrow. Gendifur produced a hand-cranked drill with a very narrow drill bit of hardened bone. She strapped down his left arm and made a small incision, then a deeper one, until she looked at his upper arm’s bare bone. “You weren’t kidding about thick bones. Your humerus is 50% thicker than normal. Let’s see how tough it is. This will hurt some.”

Milo translated the last statement: “This will hurt a lot!“

Gendifur tried several times to drill into the bone, then gave up. “This is ridiculous! What are your bones made of?”

“Old bone, reinforced with ancient runes and a lot of magic. But let me see what I can do.” He’d never tried manipulating his bones this way, but in theory, it should be the same as working on any other bone. After a minute, he felt he’d made a small opening in his bone just under the tip of Gendifur’s needle. “Try now.”

The drill penetrated easily, and Gendifur retrieved a small sample of his marrow.

She examined it with several spells, becoming more and more puzzled. “There is more magic in this than in your blood! Good to know. We can take more blood.” She extracted a little more, then used a spell to close the wound. “Larry, keep feeding him cheese and cookies. It would be best if you ate as much as Tallsqueak does. And if Justin wakes up, get some cheese into him.” She walked away to care for Smiley and Bleusnout.

Gendifur was getting desperate. Justin was out of trouble, but there was something very wrong with Bleusnout and Smiley. Justin and Larry had taken many wounds, but healing had started within minutes of the fight ending. Whatever had been used to poison the two cheese makers had been given days to sicken them before they got any help. She knew that each had been given large doses of Milbenkase, the spider cheese. There was also Black Mold in their lungs, blood, and at least one other type of poison. Giving them each a hefty dose of Tallsqueak’s blood had helped keep them alive.

She had examined his blood with her spells and found curious things. As expected, his blood was rich in the little red food bringers, and he had a large number of white protectors. She hadn’t expected the glowing yellow sparkles that danced around the protectors. She suspected something had changed in the marrow of his suspiciously large and complex bones, but didn’t have time to experiment. She was going to take a chance to save her two dying patients.

As she had with Tallsqueak, she made an incision in Smiley to expose his bone, then drilled into it so she could extract a sample of his marrow.

It was terrible, she could tell immediately. Something was attacking his bones. They were soft, and his marrow wasn’t producing new food bringers or protectors. According to some of her older relatives, what she did next was probably against the healer’s oath. It was nice to be Master Healer and not have to ask permission to do something. She injected the samples of marrow she’d taken from Tallsqueak into four of Smiley’s bones. Then she gave him an entire pint of Tallsqueaks blood. Sometimes you used a needle as a healer, and sometimes you needed a hammer. Gendifur needed a hammer, or these two would be dead soon.

Bleusnout was worse! The sample she took from him showed Black Mold was growing inside his bones! She looked over to where Tallsqueak was talking with Larry. A strong soul could walk back from death, but she’d never seen it. Was he really that confident that he could return? She debated the question’s ethics while checking Smiley’s pulse every two minutes. His heartbeat was getting stronger, and he was breathing easier.

Suddenly his eyes opened, and he stared at her. “Gendifur?…” His voice was barely a whisper. She bent lower. Smiley’s lips curled into the signature expression that had given him his nickname. “I always knew when the Angel of Death came for me; it would look like you!” He tried to laugh but grimaced in pain. “Oh, my mistake. I’m alive. If I were dead this wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Gendifur shook her head and handed him a bowl of soft curds. “Eat that. If you can joke, you can eat some cheese.”

Smiley nodded. “And then some cheddar and a nice nap?”

Gendifur smiled, and it wasn’t angelic at all. “And then I take some blood samples and tell Old Healer you’re awake so he can come to ask some interesting questions. And then maybe some cheddar. But you’re lucky. I have someone else to go torture first.”

“Tallsqueak? Larry has questions about Blue Boxes. Does Tallsqueak know about Blue Boxes?”

Milo was trying to eat a bowl of curds Gendifur had brought him. His stomach felt queasy after she drilled into more of his bones and extracted bits of his bone marrow. He was also down another pint of blood. The curds were easy to eat, and she’d promised him some slices of grana Padano as a reward after he finished his bowl. He was sure he’d never have survived this ordeal without eating so much cheese.

“The ones only you can see? Yes, I get those too. What do you need help with, Larry?”

Larry was staring into space, trying to concentrate on something. “Larry’s eyes have trouble reading, especially his big eye. And the boxes are confusing. Boxes are telling Larry he has to do stuff because Larry killed lots of spiders. And maybe something bad? It says I get a reward for cheating and breaking space-time. Larry doesn’t mean to break things! It just happens!”

Milo reached over, took another bite of curds, and set the empty bowl aside. Gendifur was busy with Bluesnout, so he began gnawing on a piece of the hard cave cheese. “I think that’s ok, Larry. What did it give you?”

“Blue box gave Larry 20 points for breaking and 30 points for killing many spiders. But boxes are upset because his needs to spend his points. They say Larry has to spend them.”

Milo sat up and concentrated. “Tell me what they say, Larry.”

“Larry needs to spend 109 points. Then Larry has to pick a new Larry. There are many yucky new Larrys like Rampaging Death Machine and Breaker of Reality. Larry doesn’t think he’d like those. “

Milo agreed. “I think those are bad choices, too. What are the good choices for the new Larry?”

Larry spent a lot of time reading off three of the choices that weren’t yucky:

Were-Fiend: You have learned to return to your pre-fiend state! Be normal most of the time! In times of great stress or danger, you can let your old self out to play. Rend your enemies in a ferocious berzerk rage you barely remember before changing back to your usual self.

Dancing Fiend: Continue your quest to teach mortals the dances of the Fae. Leap, caper, and confuse your foes as you fight with a combination of Fiendish Prowess and Fae Cunning. Gain grace and poise.

Hero of Flowertown: It’s Hero Time! You know what needs to be done when someone is in trouble. It’s up to you to save the day!

Milo needed a better answer. “What do you want to do, Larry?”

“Larry wants to do all of them. Larry wants to be the old Larry, from before sneakybadguy gave Larry cheese. Larry wants to dance! And Larry is a Hero!”

“Why don’t we start with your points, Larry? That might help you decide. Find a blue box that lets you spend your points. I bet the boxes have been showing it to you. Then find the choice that lets you increase your intelligence and your wisdom. Take all the points you can.”

A minute later, Larry’s eyes got big, and he smiled. “Larry found them. Larry is smarter!”

“And now Larry knows what to do! Larry will be a Hero!”

You have made it to the fourth tier. Welcome to Level 16 and your new class: Hero of Flowertown

You have chosen the path of the Hero.

Heroes don’t always have an easy life, but they make things better for everyone else!

Gain Title:Heroic Defender of the Hollow!

All of the Hollow knows what you did to help them. It will take time, but you have shown them what a Hero is truly capable of and gained their acceptance. You may spend points on Heroic Boons.

You have randomly gained one minor Heroic Boon!

Gain Title: Hero of Flowertown

You will always be welcome in Flowertown, as will your friends from the Hollow. Brinka will be happy to make a Larry-sized door whenever you want to visit. You may spend points to gain favors granted by the grateful Fae.

You have randomly gained one minor Fae Boon!

Perk: Fiendish Regeneration becomes Perk: Heroic Regeneration

Perk: Fiendish Resistance becomes Perk: Heroic Resistance

Skill: Chase Prey is replaced by Skill: Catch the Bad Guys!

You have purchased the following:

Fae Trickery: You have gained +3 INT

Ancient Wisdom: You have gained +3 WIS

Finesse and Style: You have gained +3 DEX

Endless Grace: You have gained +3 AGI

See the Unseen: You have gained +3 PER

Perk: Heroic Regeneration is upgraded from Fiendish Regeneration

Perk: Heroic Resistance is upgraded from Fiendish Resistance

Perk: Heroic Strength is upgraded from Fiendish Strength

Gain Skill: Flower Arrangement (INT)

Gain Skill: Nature Appreciation (WIS)

Gain Skill: Proper Manners (CHR)

Gain Skill: Ribbons and Bows! (DEX)

Gain Aspect: Magic of the Fae (CHR)

Gain Minor Fae Boon: Weasel Breeding

Weasels like to dance! More weasels mean more dancing. With enough dancing, your Adorable Baby Weasel Slippers will attract more Weasel Slippers!

Gain Heroic Boon: Larry is coming!

Someone is in trouble, and Larry knows they need help!