Tunnel Rat - Chapter 152: The Cheese Caravan

Chapter 152: The Cheese Caravan

Merchant Greensleeves’s wagon was first in line as it entered the outer edge of the caves surrounding Limburger Hollow. It was painted bright red with a canvas top striped yellow and white. It was pulled by a matching pair of albino draft lizards, their scales gleaming after being polished with oil each day. The entire caravan looked more like a circus than a merchant carrying goods

Greensleeves called a halt to the caravan and ordered a two-hour break for rest and food. “Get something to eat and stretch your backs. Double check that your wheels are tight and your lizards polished. It’s close to showtime. Once we get inside there isn’t time to breathe we will be so busy, so take care of things now.” The guards and drovers laughed and waved at him, thankful for the small break before they rolled into Limburger Hollow.

With just 1 guard and his personal scribe, the Merchant drove his wagon up to the entrance to the Limburger Hollow. The two guards at the entrance were immense specimens, and he wondered what their bloodline was. They wore steel plate armor and wielded impressively large halberds. He was happy to see that. A safe hollow was prosperous and rich hollow.

The guards greeted him politely as he drove up and hopped down from his wagon. “Howdy, and welcome to Limburger Hollow! I’m Justin and this is Brutus. Is it just your one wagon, or is there a larger caravan on the way?”

Greensleeves’s laughed and shook hands with them. “As if you two haven’t been hearing the sound of our wheels for half a bell. I know how sharp a guard’s ears need to be. I am happy to say that we took no loses in our journey and I can deliver sixteen wagons of fun, music, dancing, and cheese to Limburger Hollow. I’m looking forward to meeting Master Bleusnout and trading some wheels of cheese with him and talking about recipes we can share. We have spoken by letter of course, but it’s so much nicer to talk cheese making in person.”

There was a small change in the guard’s demeanor, which only someone with Greensleeves high perception would catch. Something was wrong.

The guard named Justin was trying to keep the same easy-going smile on his face, but it was an act now, whereas before it had been genuine. “I’m sorry to say that Master Bleusnout is a bit under the weather today. He’s had an accident. But Brutus can go get one of the other Masters to talk to you. For now, why don’t you bring your caravan into the outer cave so you don’t have to worry about any critters being attracted by the cheese.”

Greensleeves bowed. “I thank you for your hospitality, sir Justin. I’ll get my people inside so they can take a well-deserved rest and I look forward to talking to the Masters of the Hollow.” He walked away listening. The Cheese Master was too ill to talk to the head merchant of a Cheese Caravan? He must be ill indeed. Perhaps he had underestimated Sneakybadguy, it seemed his agent already had his plan running and Limburger Hollow was ready to be toppled.

Back at the caravan, four of the guards and a fiend-keeper went to two large wagons withe heavy tarps over their contents. Carefully looking inside One-ear, the fiend-keeper, checked on Buttercup and Rosy. The two fiends were asleep. Rosy was curled up holding her doll, and Buttercup was snoring a little. He put a piece of Slaver Cheese in front of each of them. They would wake soon and eat it immediately, then curl back up for another day’s sleep. It was imperative that these two be kept out of sight. He’d give them some more Sleepycheese in a couple of hours. Nothing said “Here to conquer you.” like a couple of fully armored war-fiends.

Brutus walked quickly down the narrow tunnel that led from the guard station in the outer cave to the beginning of the Hollow. He needed to find someone to talk to that Merchant. A Cheese Caravan was a big thing! Limburger hadn’t had one visit for over three years. The Merchants who took it upon themselves to travel from hollow to hollow were wandering heroes to many ratkin, and it was the dream of many whelps to run away and join one. Travel, see far hollows, be a hero and fight monsters! It was an adventurous life that many sought, but few actually found

You had a big dream, and then your parents had to spoil it by pointing out that only veteran warriors were wanted in the caravan. It was one of the reasons he’d become a guard, and at times he still thought about it. But that would mean leaving Limburger, and that wasn’t a price he was willing to pay. Maybe if he hadn’t met Gendifur and they hadn’t started meeting up to talk every now and then. Maybe he’d have kids, and he could let one of them run off with a caravan. Hell, maybe he should start one up? A few wagons, take Gendifur along, and just run back and forth between here and Gouda Hollow? Something to think about.

He quit daydreaming and went back to searching for a Master. He didn’t see Gilad around the arena, and the Fighting Master was notoriously hard to find when he wasn’t in the ring and teaching a class. Old Healer would be with Bleusnout and wasn’t availabe. So, did he head down to the mines and find Master Clawhammer? Or to the tower and grab Master Arlothe? Rifkin wasn’t a full Master yet and he was busy trying to get a meal on the table. Mistress Brownfur would be far out into the gathering fields by now.

His problem was solved as he saw Tallsqueak coming out of the mess hall…no, make that Master Scout Tallsqueak! Problem solved.

Milo saw Brutus waving to him and walked over to the big guard. Brutus shook his hand. “Wanted to congratulate you on grabbing a ring and taking over as Scout Master. Good move. It will be nice to have someone coordinating the scouts again. It’s been just the guards handling problems for a long time, but scouts take care of things before they can get to the Hollow.”

Brutus couldn’t hide a big grin. “And speaking of things that are just outside the Hollow: We have a Cheese Caravan arriving and the whole meeting and greeting stuff is just way above my pay scale. Justin says it’s Master level stuff. And since Bleusnout isn’t feeling well, and the rest of the old Masters are so hard to find, I think that this falls squarely in your area of responsibility.”

Milo could handle the translation himself: Job to do. Tag, you’re it. This time he didn’t mind. A Cheese Caravan sounded exciting! Exploring through caves, finding lost routes to other places. It sounded like a great job. The people in the caravan had to be some of the nicest people out of any hollow to work so hard to bring tasty things to other hollows.

“Sure, Brutus. I’m happy to help out.”

Greensleeves wandered along the wagons in his caravan, checking on details. First impressions were important. He only had a few of the warriors in armor and standing guard with specific instructions to relax and be friendly. The rest were dressed in normal clothes, making fires, cooking a meal, or just sitting around and joking with each other. Stopping at the other hollows had been good practice.

His wagon master was doing his job looking for problems. A cracked axel or broken wheel could set the caravan back for hours at a time. They weren’t planning on going anywhere, but now was a good time to catch up with repairs. He saw that the man was scowling at one of the special wagons. This was one of two whose wooden sides hid a steel frame; the cage extending upward and being made to look like a pile of boxes and crates. Each one housed one of his Battle-Fiends and their armor. The axels and wheels were made to take the weight, with special springs to keep from jostling the easily annoyed fiends, but one was dripping oil steadily.

Greensleeves wandered over when he saw the wagon master scowling. “What is the problem?” The older ratkin looked up at him nervously. “I think the mechanism is shot. We went over a lot of bumps and the suspension system takes a lot of wear and tear with as much weight as they are packing. I’ll have to jack it up, take it apart, and hope it’s something I can fix.” Greensleeves thought about the problem at hand. He really wanted nothing to disturb his fiends. “Save it for now. Just put a bucket underneath to save the oil. When I find out more of what is going on, then I’ll tell you when to dismantle it.”

Greensleeves willed himself to be patient. He needed to know what was going on and to do that, he needed access to the interior of Limburger Hollow. Then he could find his agent, assess the weak points, plan his take over, and find out how well the rest of Sneakybadguy’s plan was working. It shouldn’t be hard. Even if they didn’t have room for the caravan inside, he was sure that they would allow a few of his people to enter at a time to go shopping and trade for items. Most hollows were eager for trade and he assumed Limburger would be no different.

The second guard had returned, flanked by a young ratkin who was dressed strangely. A guard in training? Maybe an apprentice to a Master who was on his way? He was certainly too young to be a Master of anything. Brutus stepped forward to introduce them. “Merchant Greensleeves, this is Master Scout Tallsqueak. He was kind enough to make some time to talk to you.”

So he really was a Master? Interesting. He held out his hand and they shook. Greensleeves took a second look at him and did a careful examination. He was an adult, but just barely, with soft, fluffy fur that made him look much younger. He was wearing well made, silky-black pants in a style that Greensleeves knew was preferred by claw fighters. Over that was a burnt-orange hood with runes on the cowl. He could only just see the runes as they faded in and out. Both pieces of clothing were obviously magical. As were the weapons on his back.

The Scout Master had a very expensive looking pick-axe made from rare materials. Greensleeves had not seen it’s like before. The other weapon was too powerful for him to identify properly. Who made a spikey stick out of such rare materials? It must be an old weapon from some ancient war. And on his finger was the Ring of a Master. Not all hollows had them still. They were created centuries ago by a conclave of crafters from many hollows, working together for decades on end to provide the talismans to each hollow. Five enchanted items? No! Six. He had a second ring! How did anyone so young acquire six magical items! Limburger Hollow must be much richer than he had ever realized. He had to calm himself just thinking about it.

Greensleeves realized a few seconds had gone by while he examined the Master of Limburger Hollow’s scouts. “It is good to meet you. Forgive me, it’s been a long trip, and I have much on my mind.”

Milo smiled at him. “I can imagine. Most people have no idea how many moving parts projects have. Material resources, people, food and supplies for the people, transport for all of it and then more food for the transport animals. I’ve only thought about your job for a moment once I saw your wagons and already, I’m seeing hundreds of little jobs that have to be done.”

He did? “It’s good to meet someone with that type of perspective. Most young people only see the bright tents and dream about running away and joining a caravan.”

Milo looked over at the tents. “They are very nice looking. The colors are interesting. Natural warning colors to ward off some predators? The bright red, glowing purple, and bright yellow probably do the trick. Wait? People can run away from the hollow to join a caravan? That’s an option? I may have to talk to you further about that. It sounds fun. Lots of exploring.”

Greensleeves wondered about where Tallsqueak had grown up. Didn’t every whelp dream of running off with a caravan? “Ah, less than you’d think. We mostly travel the same roads. I was hoping to talk to you about something else. As you can see, there is room here for the Caravan to set up, but I was wondering if there is a larger area inside of the Hollow? Your esteemed Master Bleusnout had written me and seemed to think so.”

Milo was looking at all the wagons, piled high with boxes. There was certainly room to move the wagons inside, but what of the festivities, and people moving back and forth? The caravan probably wouldn’t want to be crammed into a small space. Their sales and profits depended on people being able to access the stalls where cheese was sold or traded. You needed room for that. It would be doing the caravan a disservice to cram them into the Hollow.

“I’m not sure that there is. Not to give you proper room to interact with everyone one and maximize your sales. Certainly not for the dancing and music, that would be a lot better to do out here. I saw the posters you must have asked Bleusnout to post. Looks like a lot of the hollow will be running around and having fun.” He started walking along through the cavern, pointing at the ceiling. “Those stalactites would work great for anchoring a set of colorful lanterns to illuminate the dancing. It’s not hard crawling on the ceiling, I’ll do it if you don’t have anyone that can.”

He pointed to a spot in the cave that was slightly higher that the rest of the floor. “A stage for the band would go there. Good acoustics, don’t you know? That area of the wall forms a natural amphitheater to magnify the sound. I bet Master Clawhammer could build some temporary seating over in that section and then we can sweep out the area in the middle for dancing.”

Greensleeves found himself following around the excitable Master Scout as he laid out the caravan and volunteered ideas for making the celebration go easier. Several of Greensleeves people walked over, and seeing what was going on, offered their own advice on things when Tallsqueak started asking them questions. Then he borrowed a pencil and drew out the diagrams on the side of a wagon. If Greensleeves was really a merchant, and if he wasn’t leading an army in disguise, he probably would have tried to hire the young Scout Master for future caravans. Instead, he found himself unable to argue with the well-made plans that kept his caravan out of the Hollow.

Milo looked around at a half dozen ratkin and soldiers looking at him. “Well, that’s my ideas, anyway. I’m sure you all know how to do it better.”

The wagon master and bard were looking at the plans and turned to Merchant Greensleeves. “Does this work for you sir?”

Greensleeves smiled. “Of course, it does. Nicely thought out. If only all Hollows put this much thought into our visits.” He took Milo by the arm and pulled him over to a quieter spot. “I’m wondering if perhaps I or some of my people can visit your hollow? The crew would love to shop for fresh food and look for things in your marketplace. And exchange of ideas and goods is always a good thing between Caravans and Hollows. I daresay we gather up information like a Gather Master in a field of fungus, and then distribute it everywhere we go.”

“Oh, yes, that sounds swell. I’m sure visitors will be welcome. And I hadn’t really considered how much someone like you must learn traveling like you do. Can I ask you a few questions?”

Greensleeves was happy to turn the conversation in this direction. “Certainly, what would you like to know?”

Milo had several questions he needed information on. “I was wondering if you knew of why cheese mites might be on a wheel of cheese, or in its packaging. Have you ever encountered that? Are they more common in some hollows? Are they used in any cheese making process?”

Greensleeves stroked his beard to cover his surprise. Spider mites? Of course, he had. It was one of the ingredients used to make Milkenbase, the cheese that was the main ingredient in Slave Cheese. “Spiders? Um, no. No, I have not. That sounds horrible.”

Milo was disappointed. He’d hoped the wise merchant might have known. “How about black mold? Is it poisonous? What would happen if someone ate it?”

“Ah, no. I’m sorry. I think Black Mold is to be avoided at all costs. You don’t have an infestation of it in your hollow, do you?”

Parts of Wurchwitz hollow had become infested with Black Mold, forcing them to seal off tunnels and caves. Experimenting with it and trying to find a cure for ‘Black Lung’ was how they knew it could be used to make so many effective poisons. Why was Tallsqueak asking these questions? Did he suspect something?

Tallsqueak nodded. “No worries. I just have questions sometimes and they bother me until I find the answers.” He focused on something two wagons down. “Oh, you have a bad axle that is leaking grease. I’ll take a look at that for you.” Before Greensleeves could stop him, Milo had taken the spanner from his belt, and was undoing two bolts to remove a plate on the axel assembly.

“This is a nice design. The lubrication for the suspension system and the grease for the wheels is supplied by the same container. But it looks like the pressure screws are loose and creating an imbalance. Too much pressure is sending lubrication to the left wheel and causing it to leak.” He tightened a couple of screws, put the cover back on, and slid out from under the wagon.

“That should work. Wouldn’t want one of your wagons losing a shock absorber and seizing up.” As Milo stood up and dusted off his pants. something large rocked the wagon and snored heavily.

Greensleeves thought quickly, and whispered. “We should move away from here. That’s Dave’s wagon. He’s a pretty large guard, and he just got to sleep. Snores terribly at times.”

Milo nodded. “Yeah, Brutus does the same. He rattles the whole Guard Barracks when he sleeps.”

“Thank you for your time and expertise, Master Tallsqueak. I look forward to our visit to your hollow. They shook hands once again, and Milo headed back to Limburger Hollow.

Merchant Greensleeves, known better as General Gangrene, watched him go, and wondered just how much the Master of Scouts knew. He needed to find his agent. He pointed at four of the guards who had on normal clothing. “You four come with me. I have a hankering for some fried mushrooms the way only a Hollow makes them, and then we need to wander around and sight see a bit.”