Tunnel Rat - Chapter 151: Pickled Picnics and Plucky Puffyfurs

Chapter 151: Pickled Picnics and Plucky Puffyfurs

Redfawn beat on the glass of pickle jar she was imprisoned in, but she wasn’t strong enough to break the bright green enchanted pickle glass. Through the green tinted glass, she saw her other fairy friends being roughly stuffed into jars as well. Greggy was screwing the lids on tight and punching small holes in the top to air in. The Bad Pickle Boyz had captured all of them! Gingersnapple was in the jar nearest to her, with Tuliptoes, Cherrypit, and Moonflower further down the row.

Then the horror began as Greggy Gurner started taunting them. Pickles were so mean!

“Ha! Silly flutter-things were thinking y’all wuz the smartiest, but Greggy is smartiest too! Did you have fun at my Pikknik?” He held up a small piece of paper showing a picnic basket and directions to the fairy picnic. Redfawn suddenly understood! The surprise picnic no one had known about, why picnic was spelled wrong, and why the invitations had told them to go to the clearing in the Haunted Woods. It all made sense now!

“You lied about the picnic!” Such evil had rarely been seen in the Flowerlands!

All the Bad Pickle Boyz laughed. Greggy laughed the loudest. “Oh no. We is gonna have us a pikknik, but first we need to have a little contest. Some of you will be new pickles, and some will stay cucumbers. So, you is gonna have to decide whether you wanna go to the picnic with Greggy, or be on the menu!”

The horrified fairies saw that Big Pickle and Granny Gerkin had arrived. The smoke belching Pickle Wagon came up the hill with Granny driving and Big Pickle riding in the back next to the pickle barrels and vinegar vat. Granny hopped out of the driver’s seat of the Pickle Wagon and Big Pickle unwound a long hose. While two of the boyz ran the hand pump on top of the vinegar vat, Big Pickle put the hose over the top of Redfawn’s jar and vinegar came through the air holes, soaking her. Granny laughed. “Oh, you is gonna be such a bad batch of sour little pickles. That sauce has dill, mustard, and lots of peppercorns in it.”

The vinegar stung her eyes and skin and smelled horrible. The other fairies cried out when it was there turn to be pickled. “I don’t want to be a yucky pickle!” Cherrypit’s voice cried out, but the Bad Pickle Boyz just laughed.

Bertie Badger had showed up late to the picnic. He loved free food, but he’d slept in, and then Uncle Ebeneezer had needed his tonic made from carrot juice, and the carrots had been extra hoppy and hard to catch today. As he showed up to the clearing in the haunted woods, he was disappointed to see that no one was there. Had Uncle Ebeneezer’s errand made him so late that he had missed cupcakes?

Posters for the picnic were nailed to all the trees (Which really annoyed Mr. Ent.) and blankets were spread out on the ground, but no one was here. And things smelled bad! Like old vinegar or Uncle Ebenezer’s feet. He’d smelled that smell last spring when the Pickle Boyz had tried to steal all the jelly bean trees. Looking around, he saw large, three-toed footprints in the mud that smelled like vinegar. Pickles had been here!

Bernie didn’t know what was going on, but he knew it needed someone bigger and smarter than him to fix things. The scared little badger ran off to find the Tunnelmuggle, Brinka was the only one that could help them now!

The Clan Puffyfur tea party had been a rousing success. Especially if you judged it by how many cookies had been eaten. They had served three kinds of tea, read some poetry, played charades, and Larry had told several stories about Flowerland and the fairies that lived there.

“It seems so real when you tell your stories, Larry.” Sophie had been mesmerized by the stories. “I wish we could go there some day.”

Larry was happy. He’d had so many cookies! The room was too small to dance in, but the tea was tasty. And he was glad to tell his stories. “Stories are real for Larry. Someday maybe they will be real for you too!”

Patsy, Sassy, Sophie, Luna, and Dot all hoped that was true. “Can you take us there, Larry?”

Larry shook his head. “No, Larry can’t. Larry is too big to fit through the secret door. He needs help from Brinka, the Tunnlemuggle. It is very hard for Brinka to take Larry there, because Larry has such big feet. Larry only goes to Flowerland when it is hero time. And if it is hero time, then lots of scary bad guys are running around. You’d have to fight them and be heroes too!”

All the girls nodded. Being a hero sounded good, but maybe not fighting bad guys. Puffyfurs weren’t noted for being brave. Those people joined Clan Manticore.

The cuckoo clock struck twelve, and the little bird came out and started tweeting over and over. Which was strange, because the clock hadn’t been there a moment before. A foot-high green door opened up in the wall, and Brinka stuck her head out. “Larry! I’ve been looking all over for you! Something terrible has happened, and all the fairies are missing!”

All of the Puffyfurs were staring and holding their breath. Larry patted Brinka on the head. “Don’t worry, Larry will come help.”

Patsy, Sassy, Sophie, Luna, and Dot started talking all at once. “We’ll help! Puffyfurs can be brave! And smart! We’ll bring cookies!”

Brinka gave her consent to Larry. More heroes would be a good thing! Larry stood up, scattering the table and anything on it, and grabbed all the girls up into a bear hug. Then the Hero of Flowerland dove into the small door and down into the Tunnlemuggle Tunnel. His feet were the last part of him to go through the door, and Brinka had to push hard.

The trip down the tunnel wasn’t long, but it was very curvy. The Hero and Heroes-in-Training fell out of a hole in the branch of the Big Oak Tree by the Pond. It was only a short fall and they landed in the Sunflowers. Patsy, Sassy, Sophie, Luna, and Dot stared around with huge eyes, taking in the too colorful landscape, with the bright sun overhead.

Larry produced several pairs of dark glasses from a small chest at the base of the tree. “Larry wears Hero Glasses while he is here so he can see better.” He put on his own pair, and handed out five more pairs of stylish, dark tinted shades to his assistants. As he was doing so, he saw the poster for the picnic nailed to the oak tree.

“Aha! A clue!” He showed the poster to the girls. “We must be clever and find the clues to where the fairies have gone.”

They got to work.

“They spelled picnic wrong.”

“The poster is drawn on the back of a label from a pickle jar.”

“It says ‘event of the season’, which can’t be right. Our tea party was the event of the season!”

“It smells like vinegar.”

Larry was happy that his new friends had come along, they were so good at finding clues. “Good job, heroes.” Larry sniffed the air and all around the oak tree, then pointed down a path to the haunted forest. “Fairies went this way. We should go look for them!”

Patsy pointed to the small badger that was running down the path towards them. “Maybe Mr. Badger knows something.”

Larry could see Bernie Badger running down the path. It was a clue! Bernie was lazy and always late. If he was running, he had important news. Time to put all the clues together and find some fairies!

“Oooh, look, they’re all starting to turn green! This is gonna be some fine new pickles when they get done!” Greggy was feeling good. Both Granny Gerkin and Big Pickle had joined the gang when he explained his clever plan to them. “Soon as these are done, we’ll get to work pickling up all of Flowerland!”

Big Pickle yelled out. “And there’s no one who can stop us.”

Granny Gerkin stared at Big Pickle and did a double face-palm. “You had to say that, didn’t you?!”

From over the hill came the sound of large, pickle-stomping feet.

“Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Evil Pickles got to Go!” It was Larry! Slow-Talking, Fast-Walking Larry! The Hero of Flowerland!

Granny wasn’t surprised. Big Pickle might as well have sent the Hero an engraved invitation with a map when he said that no one could stop them. “Get him, Big Pickle! I’ll load up the Pickle Wagon!”

Greggy urged the Bad Pickle Boyz on. “Well, don’t just sit here! Go help Big Pickle! It’s seven to one. Surely, he can’t beat all of you!”

Granny Gerkin heard Greggy say that and wondered how she had got stuck with these idiots. “Just shut your mouth Gurner and start loading up those pickle jars into the wagon. Greggy turned to grab the fairyies and their jars, but they were gone. He saw five wizards with tails and bows in their hair sprinting away with the fairies in their arms, discarded pickle jars were scattered on the ground. He chased after them. “Give them fairies back! I trapped them fair and square!”

Patsy called a halt. “This is far enough. Deploy wands girls. Time to show this pickle what it means to mess with Clan Puffyfur!”

Greggy Gurner was a powerful Boss Pickle over seven-feet tall and weighed more than what all five small wizards did together. That didn’t help him as he was targeted with five spells.

“Sassy’s Static Bombardment. Go!”

“Dot’s Dangerous Discharge. Go!”

“Vengeful Electrical arc of the Moon. Go!”

“Sophie’s Silly Symphony of Synchronous Thunder. Go!”

A field of static electricity burned the pickle’s feet and slowed him down. He was shocked by a blast of lightning from Dot’s wand. From the sky a brilliant white bolt of energy lanced down to hit Greggy on top of his head. Finally, small thunderstorms appeared and tossed lightning at him, making him dance.

It was a tired and burnt pickle boss that staggered up the hill, only to be met by Patsy. The official 3rd assistant to the head of the planning committee for Clan Puffyfur was angry. This was the worst picnic ever! “Vengeful Smite of Clan Puffyfur!” She slammed her staff into Greggy Gurner’s face, knocking him down and breaking his crown, sending him tumbling down the hill.

Big Pickle had reached Larry as Larry sprinted down the hill. Big Pickle went to throw a punch, but Larry leaped into the air, spinning and hitting the large pickle in the face with his huge foot. Big Pickles head exploded into little bits of vegetable. His head was mostly hollow, after all. Larry’s tail scattered the rest of the Bad Pickle Boyz. They got the message.

“Time to Leave!” The boyz grabbed what was left of Big Pickle and ran for the Pickle Wagon.

Grandma Gerkin shook her fist at Larry. “Darn you, Larry! This plan would have worked except for you and those meddling kids!” She drove off in the Pickle Wagon with Greggy Gurner running behind and begging her to slow down.

“I need a bath!” Gingersnapple was trying to wash off the pickle juice with a handful of grass, but it was sticky and icky.

“Let’s go to the river and take a bath, then we can have lemonade and jellybeans with our new friends.” Moonflower was fond of Lemonade and suggested it whenever she could.

“Yay, a real picnic!”

Larry let the fairies ride on his head and shoulders since their wings were sticky. Clan Puffyfur walked along with him.

“Best Tea party of the Year!”